We Rate this Summer’s Hottest Nine Movies

It’s been about a while since I’ve posted so I decided so I decided to provide you with a special update about this summers hottest number. Below are my reviews of the ninest movies of this summer. Since I haven’t seen any of them I am simply going to rate them based upon their use of this hip number.

We will start off with Peter Jackons Ultra 9 movie:title_district9august14

Don’t be confused by an Acadamey Award winning director. Without even having to look beyond the title you will notice that there is a 8:1 ratio of non-number 9 characters to number nine characters. Seriously, with a title like this how nine can a movie be? We would suggest waiting for this one to come out in DVD and maybe check it out as a rental where hopefully it will be 99¢ !

Next up we have Nicole Kidman who, lets face it, has nothing nine about her, starring in this movie:nine_l200905131553

This title is slightly deceptive. Although titled “NINE” you may have noticed that there are not actually any “9”s in the title. Very typical of a “romantic musical”, in this age. Well “NINE”, our staff has rated you an “EIGHT”!

Taking it up a notch is the movie:999_l200905071342Not to be outdone they have included this summers HOTTEST number not once, not twice, but THREE times, which itself is the sqaure root of 9! Three squared thumbs up for this stop motion 9-based blockbuster.

And finally, leave it up to Director Tim Burton to use his slightly deranged artistic nineness to come out with what is sure to be the ninest movie of them all…9_left

The title alone reveals how nine this movie is. With 100% of the characters, in the title,  being the number “9” there is no room for “.”, “$”, or even letters!

But wait! Not only that…check out the release date.

dateTim Burton is not messing around.

Looks like we’re going to have a busy summer. Sometimes getting to the square root of 81 isn’t easy. But hopefully, this guide will help guide you though the hottest summer that root has ever seen!

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8 thoughts

  1. If I were to name the ninest movie ever I would use .9 repeating. I would have used the little line above the 9 to show the repeating, but I don’t know how to do that in a blog comment. Anyway, this would be awesome and would guarantee it the number one position since anyone with half a brain knows that .9 repeating actually = 1, which inherently states that it would be the #1 nine movie ever.

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