1. One person needs to decide to read the book first. Then invite others.This is important. People get frustrated when deliberation slows them down. If no one responds to the invitation, no loss. If people respond, you’ve created an opportunity.
2. Go for smaller groups. 2 People is enough. 3 may be better. When you start to get into 4-5+ it becomes to be difficult to maximize an hour and plan a regular meeting.
3. Structure the club around one particular book. That way you are only committing to a book that everyone is excited about. At the end of the book disband. If everyone is excited about the same book start another meeting but this provides the opportunity to add people and for people to step out. 
4. If 2 different people are interested in 2 different books start a new “group”. Multiple groups/books/days a week are ok. Remember, you are basing each group off of a book. Someone may have a lot of time and want to meet 3 times a week with discussing 3 different books but another person in the same community may be only able or interested in one book every other week. Remember tip #1. One person needs to decide to read the book and invite others. When a collective groups starts deciding the value of a piece of literature and their personal availability things get frustrating very quickly.  You could have been on chapter 4 already.
5. It’s ok to read ahead but only discuss what everyone has read. When reading it can be helpful to underline or take notes on what you want to discuss so you can still add value to the discussion even if a lot of time has passed.

BONUS TIP 

• Bring your calendars to each meeting and confirm the next time you will be meeting in person. It’s ok to skip a week and sometimes it’s better waiting till everyone’s there. Having a small group can afford this flexibility. It’s also ok to read ahead if you’re underlining. If you’re really bored start another club already (remember tip #4)

But our proudest parenting moments should not be about obedience, they should be about intimacy. This was modeled to us by a God in the Bible who wanted to walk with his children in a garden. He brought them to a mountain to see them but they sent a representative. He wanted to rule them directly but they preferred a king. The more this happened obedience began to replace intimacy in our relationships with God. It has also done this in our parenting.

What’s the alternative? To begin to prioritize the type of relationship with children where we draw them to our hearts. In doing this we model how our God draws us to his heart. Instead of freaking out about disobedience start freaking about the patterns and moments where we resort to behaviors and wrote verbage to feel good. To begin to brag about how close the Heavenly Father wants to be with us and how close we want to be with our children. As our children draw closer to our heart and the heart of The Father they will become obedient. But they will also become more compassionate and humble. And a whole bunch of other things that just following rules never seems to accomplish.

We asked them why that was the first and most important thing to share. Seven blurted out “we wanted the other person to feel bad.” Kami and I asked why. None of the kids knew the answer. So I shared with them why. Deep down we’re all afraid of being loved the least. That’s why it’s hard for us to see others succeed or to have more stuff or happiness than we have.  But the way to combat this destructive force is not just to create rules and boundaries. It’s to un-do the lie that each child is not loved the most. So, this morning we asked our kids the question :Which of you is loved the most? After 3 or 4 incorrect answers Seven got it right. He said “we ALL are loved the most”. It’s true. At least we would like it to be. I think the degree to which us as parents believe that we are all loved the most will determine how we can pass this love on to our children. Then they(we) will be able to celebrate in each other’s joy instead of feel threatened by the love that they are not receiving.

CLICK TO ENLARGE

CLICK TO ENLARGE

CLICK TO ENLARGE

CLICK TO ENLARGE

There’s a lot of mixed emotions about the doc but I’ve decided to post them on our blackjack training website so if you want to read some paragraphs of what it’s like having your life documented, re-arranged, edited at someone else’s whim and then broadcasted to the entire critic, religious, and professional world.

You can read that blog post by clicking here. 

Explanation of INFOGRAPH

If you are a parent of multiple children, your children tell on each other….all…the…time. It goes something like this:

One child comes and tells you that another of your children broke a rule. Then our immediate response is to play detective, figure out which rules were broken, and try and enforce the rule that was broken with the child that broke the rule ….when we have the energy.

I’m starting to believe that the majority of parenting should be directed towards molding the hearts of our children. I have also come to believe that the majority of our energy is spent modifying behavior and surviving situations.

We are teaching  our children  that the state of their actions takes precedent over the state of their heart. To take the story of the prodigal son we are rewarding our children for being the rule following older son who respects the rules instead of the rule-breaking younger son.  It’s not to say that rules are not important or should not be taught but there is a much more difficult and valuable lesson that underlies it all.  The far greater lesson of this story and each instance with our children is the opportunity to present them with the love of the Father God and the impact that this has in giving us compassion and a desire to pass this love on.  How do we do this?

I’ve recently come to the conclusion that dealing the VERY common instance of tattle tailing is the quickest way to undersand and implement change. And instead of facilitating and even encouraging children to come and turn other children in on the basis of rules we should start to look at the hearts of both children; the one doing the reporting and the reported.

Here’s a loose framework of the process with some notes in yellow but it all begins with the question of trying to understand the heart of the reporting sibling by asking “Are you trying to help or just get someone in trouble?”

(CLICK TO ENLARGE)

• a network of talent for hire
• a dependable team or partnership with diverse talent
• personal experience in project management
• relationships with people in the perspective field
• experience with technology
• the ability to sell your product to investors and consumers
• the ability to get sh*t done
• confidence to be able to overcome the dips
• the ability to take a risk OR to not see it as one
• the ability to have a healthy relationship with your spouse and children during your idea
• and finally, the ability to try out another idea when you find out that the previous one was not in fact “good”
• etc. (I didn’t even mention finances)

Ideas come and go. Of all the things on the list they are the most random to attain. Everything else on the list you can work towards. Most of the entrepreneurs I know have 15+ failed projects in their wake. But in the failure of their ideas they built up the 10 other things that harnessed the power of their 16th idea.

So, the next time you have an idea, pull the trigger. Make some phone calls, put up a website or blog, and set your alarm to get up early. Because although the idea may not pay off adding the tools to your tool belt will. And someday you’ll have a good idea AND you’ll be able to see it to fruition. THAT’s something to get excited about.

Additional Resources:

(just read the title and description on amazon)

(Malcom Gladwell presents the correlation of 10,00 hours of experience results in success)

1. “Rich Dad Poor Dad” book – by Robert Kiyosaki 

If you can get past the cheezy title and simplistic writing style this book is a good primer to break out of the “think like an employee” mindset. His most valuable concept is in defining “wealth” and explaining how to achieve it in the broadest terms. Wealthy people keep their income higher than their expenses and use the excess to accumulate assets. “Poor” people have increased expenses and accumulate liabilities feeling like it is outside of their control.

Time: 3 hours

Value: 8/10

2. ”10 Reasons you should never get a job” – Blog post by Steve Pavlina

I posted a response to why we have daily family meetings on my Brother-in-law’s blog Paths of Return. You can read it HERE. 

• I’m perceived as a stalker.
• They don’t “like”  my stuff
• “lik(ing)” it looks silly
• I wish I didn’t like it.