You’re All Loved the Most: A response to sibling competition

Yesterday we split the kids up for a few hours. They each got a separate experience and when they came back together they each started bragging about how special their’s was. Eden said that she got a full hour on the computer. Dove and Seven said that they got ice cream and hung out with their cousins. Today we sat down and talked about it.

We asked them why that was the first and most important thing to share. Seven blurted out “we wanted the other person to feel bad.” Kami and I asked why. None of the kids knew the answer. So I shared with them why. Deep down we’re all afraid of being loved the least. That’s why it’s hard for us to see others succeed or to have more stuff or happiness than we have.  But the way to combat this destructive force is not just to create rules and boundaries. It’s to un-do the lie that each child is not loved the most. So, this morning we asked our kids the question :Which of you is loved the most? After 3 or 4 incorrect answers Seven got it right. He said “we ALL are loved the most”. It’s true. At least we would like it to be. I think the degree to which us as parents believe that we are all loved the most will determine how we can pass this love on to our children. Then they(we) will be able to celebrate in each other’s joy instead of feel threatened by the love that they are not receiving.

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